Family First

Rediscovering Me(aning)

Holding Onto Your Identity Beyond Being a Mom


Published: February 2, 2021




Being a mom can fill you with wonderful and yet overwhelming emotions. The moment you hold your child in your arms, they become the center of your universe. Subconsciously, you strive to devote time and attention to your kids so they can experience the best that life has to offer. In doing so, however, there are times when mothers forget who they were before they were even a parent. This leads to identity crisis that can make moms ask the question: “Who am I beyond being a mom?”


Grappling with self-identity is very common among mothers, especially new ones. A study funded by ibuprofen brand Nurofen for Children revealed that more than half of women who’ve had their first taste of motherhood had to deal with identity loss, as well as other psychological challenges involving self-esteem, establishing personal goals, and nurturing relationships with the people around them. According to experts, this may result from women losing a connection to their past selves. This leaves them feeling lost and questioning whether or not they can survive on their own.


If this scenario sounds familiar to you, take a conscious step towards reclaiming your identity. Here are some ways that can take you back to the path that you want to tread in life, and even allow you to rediscover parts of you that you may have forgotten along the way:



Make “Me” Time a Habit.


Psychologists say that allotting time for yourself gives space for self-discovery, allows time for deep thinking, and aids in problem solving. Don’t just unwind when you feel like it. Instead, make it a point to have a designated time and date every week where you can focus on you for a while, before jumping back to being a mom and wife to your kids and husband.



Strive for Contentment.


Reflect and identify the things that can provide you with satisfaction. Whether it’s finding a new hobby or offering your services to better the community, pursue an activity that can provide you with that feeling of fulfillment. This can help restore and increase your self-value, and serve as an inspiration especially when days are tough.



Never Stop Dreaming.


Being a mother is a great goal in itself, but it doesn’t have to be your finish line. To help you organize your thoughts, create a vision board containing your life plans, which may include getting a post-graduate degree, venturing into a business, or committing to stay fit and healthy. Remember that the possibilities are endless as long as you keep your options open.



Get Back to Your Roots.


What were the things that you enjoyed doing before you had a family of your own to tend to?  Try to incorporate these activities into your daily routine, and involve your family members too so they can share in the joy. This can re-establish the link between your past and present self, while embracing being a mom.



Widen Your Horizons.


Seek, and you shall find individuals who share your passions and even struggles. Make friends with other moms and learn how they were able to overcome their obstacles, and give back by sharing your success stories also. If you feel that you would need assistance in reconnecting with who you are, let a friend extend their helping hand to you.